You Understand?
What is it that keeps my nose to the ground and my eyes wide open? I sure as hell don’t know the answer. I don’t understand defeat and I can’t come to the thought of quitting on my family. I live in my mind. I reside there because it is the place where I do know what I do know. Everything and everyone are very familiar. The effects of other thoughts are what I do not know. I often do not understand their intentions, yet I have to physically live in a world where the result of their thoughts affects me and those I love. When my mind is in this mode it often inspires me to go and live in the country or somewhere next to a beach. I love nature. The thoughts of wanting to please my physical desires are what keep me suffering. One part or level of me wants no part of everyday society and yet another wants me to push me and my family’s life to the limit for the sake of the ride. It’s like an all or nothing attitude on one hand and an I don’t want to be bothered with the sad stories, bickering and hatred of the world attitude on the other. I must say this though, through all of the struggles I’ve faced and overcome I thank God for still allowing me to think and share my thoughts with the world.
August 11, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Maurice,
What you are discovering is that the “wars and fightings” within us come from the “strong desires” that we have within us for things in the world. The Bible mentions it in James 4:1. The thoughts and actions of others are external. They can sometimes affect our physical body but they can never touch our soul unless we internalize them. James 4:1-10 discusses how God wants us to resist the world’s ways, draw closer to Him, and humble ourselves. He promises to lift us up. God is always true to His word.
August 12, 2009 at 6:24 am
Keep ya heah high MO! We still with you!
August 12, 2009 at 9:26 am
Hi Maurice,
Love your new attitude, keep it up! God will reward you for your latter state and not your former.
August 12, 2009 at 10:27 am
What keeps you going is your determination to succeed. It shows your true character. You are able to weather the storms and still be greatful to God. Keep on believing and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.