God
You often hear people, including myself, talking about and leaning on God’s shoulders in life altering situations. I often ask myself, “Why does it take nonsense for me to reach out to God?” I frequently forgot about him and his grace in the past. I disrespected his blessings and I took most of everything for granted. When I found myself in a vice, he was the first person I called on. It wasn’t a friend or family member. It was me on my hands and knees making every promise to him that I could. I made the promise that I believe everyone makes, “If you get me out of this situation, I’ll be good forever.” J Just think I am referring back to my first case. He knew I was lying because I caught a second case in less than a year. That is probably one of the worst feelings in the world; initially catching a bad case and then compounding the situation by catching another case before the first one is resolved. That is a sticky situation. Throughout the entire process I called out to God like never before. I think I read every religious and spiritual book to try and make things right which was insane looking back. I am saying it is insane because I had to reap what I’d sown. Karma, you know? I had to pay my debt back to society for what I had done. The religious and spiritual readings were cool, and they helped assist me to get on the path I am currently on but reading them alone wasn’t going to erase my criminal activity. When you’re desperate, naive, and a little psychologically messed up, which I was, you tend to believe things that are not logical. Come to think of it, I was a little delusional. LMAO.
Throughout my incarceration, I’ve learned to form a different perception of what and who God is. I am man enough to publically admit what God has done for me in my life. God knows and understands my intentions. God understands that it took a lot of self educating for me to comprehend and understand certain information at higher levels of consciousness. God also knows there is room for growth. I’m not a radical and I don’t do a lot of advocating for God because I am humble enough to know that I’m not educated enough to teach anyone any gospel. To try and to pretend to be a scholar of the word would be foolish and destructive. God had been wonderful to me. I salute God for carrying me through the good and bad times. I will give this advice though; make it your business to thoroughly research the person that is delivering you your religious or spiritual information. Make sure they have the proper credentials and make sure they are living what they preach. Be sure they are in it to deliver God’s word and not their own. Above all make sure your pastor isn’t preaching for profit and prosperity.
April 17, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Maurice,
This is my favorite post thus far. It’s probably because it is one I can identify with the most. A lot of people believe in the Lord but they don’t seek him until they have a trial. It is easy to have faith when everything is going great but its a totally different story when everything goes wrong. I can personally testify to that. I strongly recommend you read the book of Job. Whenever I start to pity myself I read this book and suddenly my problems become trivial.
April 18, 2009 at 8:00 pm
I was watching a glimpse back on you tube of the 2002 National Championship season, and it lead me to check your blog. Reading today’s post makes me think of what Tressel talks about in his book, The Winners Manual, about your original goal. To be a minister of the Gospel.
I have the Audiobook of the The Winners Manual. I remember waiting throughout all the discs for him to mention you, and in the chapter of “Hope”, he talked about how he has never given up on Hope for you and prays that you will still be able to realize your ultimate dream. That moved me tears, because I often thought about you and how God works things out for His purpose even in the midst of our defeats. To me you are were a winner, not because of your touchdowns, not because of your the national title, but because I know God has a call on your life and I hate seeing darkness prevail period.
The reality is there is truly a God, who is radically in love with us, picks the least of the world to show His power, was brutally beaten, mocked, and eventually crucified by the same people He was dying for. That God trumps all and that is the power and truth of Jesus Christ. God changed my life which was once filled with self satisfaction and pride several years ago and since He is worthy all of honor, praise and service.
I have been a radical long time Buckeye, but the truth is I am an even more radical lover of Jesus. In perspective of life there is no greater cause than the mission and committment of walking in close relationship with Jesus. My prayer is that you become all He has for you, walk in reverance with humility, serve others, store your treasures up in Heaven (Matt 6), seek Jesus first above all (Matt 6:33), and carry out the good plans He has for your life (Jer 29:11).
There’s a quote I love it says, “When you give up what you think you deserve, God gives you more than you dreamed”
Like Tressel I “Hope” that you become your original goal and fulfill the plans God has for you and not let the enemy steal, kill or destroy anymore. I “Hope” you get plugged into a good bible based church, it’s just like a team we all need some coaching and others to count on. I know He will always meet you on the road. God deserves it all because when we stand before Him only 2 things will matter:
1. How much we served and loved Him
2. What we did for people in His name (life is like tennis you must serve real well:-)
There is a scripture that says what is for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul…..
I type that because in the midst of looking to get out, provide for your family, hype from old friends, pressures, tempations, nay sayers…..to please God is truly the most important. There is no legal system, no parent, no rule that can equal knowing a God is watching. Being accountable to God and above reproach at all costs, even if you don’t have temporary gain is better than any earthly treasure! I “Hope” pleasing God is your #1 and the rest is second. He saved us and is worthy of committment, in other words he took one for the team and deserves proper honer….
God is life, God is love, God is mercy, all expressed by His infinite grace poured out through Jesus Christ Life and Sacrifice and resurrection from the dead all for our sins.
Stay up and I look forward to hearing great things about where God is taking you. God takes murderors like Paul and Moses and makes them leaders of Him, how awesome is that redemptive power.
Luke 7:47 (New International Version)
47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
This verse rocks, I was forgiven of much and therefor I love much!
April 19, 2009 at 4:32 pm
This posting prompts a response, but I think I’ll put it in a letter because it is meant for you and not for everyone else who may read this posting…but it may take a week or so.
April 27, 2009 at 12:07 pm
This is one of your best posts clarett. Keep your head up. I am new to this site and have been reading all morning. Just a note to say “us” true buckeyes have not forgot the joy that you brought to us that wonderful football season. The picture still hanging on my basement wall depicts you diving into the end zone in OT. I know you don’t keep up with sports so much anymore, but your hard work and perserverance through adversity will never be forgotten. Obviously you still have the hard nosed mentality that you had while at OSU. Keep positive and keep looking to the Lord for anything. A family member once told me a quote I have never forgotten. Give your troubles to God in the evening. He will be up all night anyways. I will continue reading the blog. You are an inspiration.
May 5, 2009 at 4:46 am
Greetings friend
There is wisdom, knowledge, maturity coming from your mind. The Bible is filled with stories of Great Men and countries that have done the same. (When things are going good we push God to the side and lift ourselves up to be god, until we fall, then we cry to God to help us). This is normal for us humans.
This is a mystery: From the age of 12 and up God starts holding us responsible for our future and actions of free will.
There is a spiritual court of law and then there is the natural court of law. You have experienced both at an early age.
Philosophy is good, the bible is better to use as a guide.
Jehovah God our Father wants all his children to be smart, knowledgeable have wisdom and understanding in all things.
I like this slogan: T.I.T. Think it Through. There is a beginning and an end to all things that we do. Most things we do in this life my friend with patience and wisdom you will know the end from the beginning when studied hard enough. The bible taught me this and its true.
They put blinders on horses at the races for what reason? So they can’t see to the left or right, but straight ahead to win the race.
The Apostle Paul said the same thing about God’s Word.
The Apostle Paul spent more than 2 years in prison at one time writing one of the books of the New Testament with guards on him 24/7. So much Wisdom and Revelation to come to you while you are there my friend.
One of my bondage’s of my past was drugs, crack cocaine, etc.. My last stay at a rehab was in 1999 and I stayed there 1 year and really didn’t want to leave, it was all man facility, a Christian Rehabilitation Center called the Salvation Army.
They have the best Rehabilitation for drug addicts and men coming out on parole to prepare them for life outside of jail.
There you are on a strict Christian program of daily living with family involvement that’s structured, I would strongly recommend looking into signing up for a spot/bed there with your parole officer.
Stay in God’s Word continue to let him guide you, keep him first, learn all you can about what “Idolatry” really means also learn what “Covetousness” really means, this is very important to study, because you are a very smart young man, God wants you to know in depth by study what these really mean and how to avoid them.
In one of your blogs towards end of April I’m reading idol worship in your words so be careful not to lift your self up above your Heavenly Father God my friend.
There was a lot of “I” in your words concerning you and your family and not God and me, your words are everything my friend.
You want to find the right church or preacher, You become the right Preacher/Church. Much love to you my friend.
May 7, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I can appreciate this post. I believe everybody takes God for granted but always remember Ephesians 2:8 “For by grace are saved through than not yourselves it is the gift God” You must confess that Jesus died and shed his blood for our sins and believe this by faith you are saved. You look at this website if you get a chance http://www.jesuschristbaptistchurch.org