Ask the Tough Questions
I now know that when times become confusing, you have to ask yourself the tough questions in order to bring the clarity you need in order to make a rational, logical, and effective decision. When you’re alone with the people who claim to be your closest of friends, ask them personally, “What is it about me that you’re so attracted to?” When you are dating someone, ask them to describe to you specifically, “What is it about me that makes you want to spend a lifetime with me?” When you hear rumors about someone you’re dealing with and those rumors could potentially directly affect you, you should immediately inquire about it and not allow it to stay clouded in your mind. It messes up judgment and reason.
Pay attention to people if they become extremely defensive, when asking tough questions. That’s usually the biggest sign that they are full of nonsense. I suggest you disconnect the relationship and save yourself a lot of time. This is not to say that everybody is bad, but I will say this; dealing with the true feelings of people will allow you to know where you really stand. Tough questions merit tough responses and based upon your initial reaction to their response, you’ll be able to gain some more insight and awareness on your personal relationships.
I’ve been in the position where I was continually entertaining myself with people I really did not know. I really didn’t know them because I really did not care to ask the tough questions. It is not hard to be someone’s friend when all you’re doing is having fun. It is as if I was scared to know that people didn’t really like me but only the lifestyle I was providing. I always secretly knew the truth before but experiencing it now, is something quite different. Asking tough questions is like manufacturing a pressurized situation. When pressure comes into play, you’ll see people reveal themselves to you.
March 6, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Well said Maurice, funny how we do not learn this until we mature.
March 6, 2009 at 3:39 pm
So true. I’ve learned another way of finding out who your “real” friends are is by sharing something intensely personal that may have a stigma attached to it. If they still keep in contact with you and show support even if they don’t fully understand your situation, those are signs of true friendships.
March 6, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Thanks for the thoughts Mo. Your insights have given me a lot to think about lately especially this one. Sometimes it is hard to ask the tough questions because you are scared of what the answers are going to be. However, you are always better off knowing.
March 6, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Everyone loves you when your on top. They love the success and notoriety. Many people choose to kick those who are down. Adversity brings out the best and worst in many people. True colors shine brightly.
March 6, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Nice advice Maurice. Man have you grown spiritually and mentally and I’m grateful of that.
Continue on your good ways, never stray from the path, and keep thinking deeply and sharing your thoughts with us because I have truly been renaissanced.
March 6, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Right on!!
I did look myself in the mirror and finally decided to ask myself the tough questions and while it was hard to admit at first,I grew and I’m still growing.
I did not ask the tough questions to my so-called “friends” but I took a close look at their actions instead of the b.s they were trying to feed me and I ditched almost anyone and I don’t have much friends but I don’t feel as lonely as I did surrounded by hypocrites.
It’s very important to be picky with those that we let in our lives and not be afraid wether they like you or not.
Great post!!
March 7, 2009 at 3:31 am
Mr Clarett,
I happened upon your site and I am most impressed with your writings. As a life-long Buckeyes fan (my family is from Ohio) I followed your career and the antics that followed with sad interest. I am greatly heartened by your writings. Forgive the impertinence but I would like to give you some advice.
I am currently in the Navy, serving in Italy but the job before this was one of the best I have had in my 28 year plus career. I was the NROTC Commanding Officer at UC Berkeley. I had the opportunity to study for another Masters Degree in Education with an emphasis on advising Division 1 student athletes on how best to study and earn their degree while competing in their sport. During my tenure there, I had the great fortune to become a faculty adviser for the Cal football team. All this is background for my suggestion to you.
Your writings and your experience would serve you and countless others if you would put them to work in the sport that you excelled in. Please consider returning to college and working towards a degree in counseling. While there, where ever that may be, volunteer to mentor the athletes. I would be happy to offer any assistance in helping you toward this goal. If there is something else you desire to do, please accept my best wishes for success.
Captain, United States Navy
March 7, 2009 at 5:56 am
another great post. we all have had times in our life had we done that things might have turned out better or saved some heart-ache or head aches. love your blog.
March 7, 2009 at 9:06 am
That is good advice, Maurice. I truly hope that once you get out of there, you impact the lives of others in a positive way. People can be cancers. Have you asked yourself those questions regarding the people you were hanging out with? What did you like about them?
March 7, 2009 at 11:03 am
What’s up Maurice. I know you remember me. It seems like you’re doing well and that is great. Hang in there man; it’s almost over.
March 7, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Maurice,
As I read your blogs, I observe a strong, decent, and humble man emerging. I believe God desires to use you in a mighty and powerful way to impact the lives of those, who become dis-illusioned and mis-use the gifts and talents that He has given them. May God be with you as you complete this part of your life and may he truly bless you when you return to The Ohio State University and the “Shoe”. Proverbs 3:5-6. May God Truly Be With You.
Vern
March 7, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Hi Maurice,
I’m enjoying reading your daily memos. Pretty insightful. I have had a lot of the same fears happen to me wiith people.
Question for you–what was it like being around Jim Tressel the man and not the coach? Thanks!!
March 7, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Just found your blog after reading a news article about it. I appreciate your choice of topics and approach to your blog. I’ll be reading regularly.
March 7, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Maurice, thanks for writing these blogs. They are very insightful, wise and valuable, and many of the things I have read by you either have already occurred in my life, or it is something I can apply to my life in the future. I’m really glad you’re in the place you are mentally, it’s like you said, your mental sentence ended already, you’re just waiting for your physical sentence to expire so you can rejoin your family. Keep up the good writing man, I guarantee you these will help a lot of people. Peace.
March 8, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Very good advice Maurice. I have been in similar situation with former business partners and recently i had to walk away from there. Its tough when ppl are not honest with you and its also tough when ppl find a way to manipulate you just so they can get their shine on. I know your folks are proud of you fam. Keep your head up.